19 - This is Gentle?

Kyrus had forced himself to eat something, though for the life of him he couldn’t remember what.  From the taste on his tongue it had had honey in it. He lay in his bedroom, the fancy room at the top of the city that still made him nervous.  It was big enough that four Basin families could have lived in it and it had to be full of silks and cushions and rugs or it would have echoed horribly.

He hated it.  Two years ago he would have thought being named a member of the royal family and never have to worry about going hungry, getting kicked out of their rooms, or getting someone who could help his mom get herself back, would have been the height of all his dreams.  Having the best war teachers he’d ever heard of and some he’d not known about would have been almost too much.

But this... worrying about everybody and having his da and his stepda and everyone putting themselves in danger over and over and over again, with this greedy, crazy old man on the other side of the planet... that was just awful.  It sucked and what it sucked wasn’t flower nectar.  He rolled over, punched the pillow and thudded his head into it.

They honestly expected him to manage a few moments rest?  He’d need it if he and Werfas and Hara were going to have a hope of finding them, much less being strong enough to get them out past that horrible new security system.  It was as if the old man had set it up to learn.

What was he so afraid of that he had such a thing?  Especially since he wasn’t specifically guarding against anyone from this side of the planet? The first Empress, Petra, had referred to everyone surviving Perrin’s attempted murder as living in Hinnom, or Sheol. So Perrin was guarding ferociously against something that wasn’t Lainz or Milar or anyone else over here.

I don’t think I want to know what that threat is.  And Hara... she’s... um... I’m... um... we aren’t doing any more than kind of sleeping in the same bed.  There’s no time. Or we’re both too busy or tired and we’re not even adults yet. And Werfas.  He’s over at the school a lot, and we haven’t talked about... well, about him being attracted to me and me not being attracted to him.  I want to fix that but da and stepda are missing and that crazy old man would just pretend we never existed.

He opened his eyes, about to punch the pillow again, just as a naked Hara slid herself into the bed pressing herself against him.  He twitched upright, bounced his forehead off her arm as she went to wrap her arms around him and they both fell back down. “—ow--” “—ooh—“ sorry, how’s your head?—Did you hurt your arm?”

“Hara... I want you. I want you so bad it hurts.”  It did hurt.  He was so hard, and sweating, that he ached with it.  “But should we... I mean we’re supposed to be trying to rest so we can go in strong and rescue our fathers...”

She looked solemn and put her fingers over his mouth.   

“Don’t worry about that.  We have almost two hours before we’ve gotten everyone who was kept back ready.  I want you too, and we aren’t going to exhaust ourselves.  We’ll make love and have time to nap and get cleaned up.  And you and I will be closer when we go into the owner’s country.  It will help get us back to our bodies if I can smell good sex to help me find my way out of code.”

“Do you have to just say it like that?  Its so... embarrassing.” But his hand was on her breast and she had her arms around him.  Even as excited as he was, he could feel himself relaxing on some level.  She was right.  He’d go in feeling safer.  “Will you go in feeling more relaxed and safer too?”

“Why do you think I’m here so quick after you lay down?” Her voice was sharp and full of suppressed anxiety, her face buried in his neck.  She was trying so hard to be a grown up and sensible Milar.

He kissed her, gently, smoothed her hair back off her forehead.  She rolled them both over and lay on his chest so he had to catch her before they tumbled right into the stone post of the bed.  “This is gentle?” He had to smile.

“Shut up,” she said and smiled onto his mouth as she grabbed his hair on both sides of his face. “Touch me, make me forget all this strange stuff for a little while.”

He gasped as she grasped him and straddled him. She was wet on the insides of her thighs, she was so excited.  “I’m sick of this ‘too tired’ or ‘too busy’.” His palms were on her nipples and both of them threw back their heads as she slid down onto his penis, with a minimum of fumbling.  “It’s been too....ah... ah.. yes.” 

It was all he could do to lie still as she quivered on him with her first small orgasm.  They’d been lovers long enough that he knew she would have several small orgasms before she could reach the deeper one she needed to be able to nap in the afternoon.  He bit his lip, let one hand settle down between them and laid his thumb against her slick clitoris.   

She gasped, rode him for three or four strokes before she shuddered on him a second time.

He grinned and rolled them both over, away from the edge of the bed, put his lips on a nipple, grasped her behind in both hands and pulled her tight against him.  He managed two or three thrusts himself before the world exploded and they both began laughing. “Thank you--thank you.  I missed you.--That was stupid – we needed that—I love you.  Yes.”

She wiggled off to one side slightly so they both still had their legs tangled together but could be comfortable, he tried to stay awake but was already half-dreaming.  “I love you.  Yes.  We’ll find them.”

“Yes.”