19 - I Need to Fix My Mess

The cave above the Ancestor stones was very private, even with the student’s running path outside.  This time of the evening it was unlikely that anyone would come up to meditate, so early in the spring.

The bed was dishevelled and the furs flung onto the floor.  Ilax’s lover shivered and pulled a sodden towel out from under them, dropped it over the edge of the bed.  "That's better. You said he’s settling in well?  He’s all right?  You mentioned that the healer said he was fine?”

“Yes, yes and Ardalan said he was surprisingly fit for a boy who’d had to run with the Basin gangs in that city of yours.”

“Not my city.  Not any longer.”

Ilax sighed and flung his arms around his lover’s torso, pulling him closer.  “Inam, you’re too good a warrior to let that keep hurting you.  War’s over.”

“Yes.  It is.  It certainly is if the boy is old enough to make his own way all the way across both countries safely.”

“He told me he walked most of it,” Ilax said.  “He was pretty determined.”

“I... am certainly proud of him already, though I’ve no right to be. Dag would have been fierce in her raising of him.”

Ilax laughed.  “Why am I not surprised?  Why did you never marry her?”

His lover flung his hands over his face.  “She was training to be a zardukar and my father didn’t think she was good enough for me.  And... I was young and stupid and obeyed my father.”

“I see.  Inam.  That’s something I’m unhappy about, in this life we have.  You left your responsibilities behind.”

The other man’s voice was muffled behind his hands.  “Yes.  I... The boy’s pointed out that the past never truly leaves us.  I need to fix the mess... just not right now, deovar.”

“Not right now,” Ilax agreed.  “ Right now...” he put his nose on the centre of his inam’s back and touched the tip of his tongue delicately to his lover’s skin. His lover groaned but there was both joy and laughter in it. “Deovar, if you start again, you will kill me, I swear!”

The Milar laughed and licked delicately up his back, tasting the sweet salt of orgasm sweat all the way up to the soft hairs at the nape of his neck, spreading his weight to press down firmly. 

“You like it when I am firmly in control of the situation, my inam.”

His lover writhed under his weight. “Oh, oh, Light above and Dark below! I can feel you are ready again! Your lovely, lovely peos! Right against me. Oh, deovar, deovar. Take me. Take me!”

With a wicked grin that his lover couldn’t see, Ilax whispered against the back of his neck, “Oh, I don’t think so, inam. It’s taken more than ten years to get you to speak so freely about sex at all, you bee-eater you ... I’m going to make you beg me...”

His lover, with a bunching of his muscles lifted the slighter man up and rolled over on his own back, catching Ilax’s wrists. His grin was very bright against his complexion, straight white teeth. “Oh, but deovar,” he paused and slowly licked the insides of the wrists he held in strong brown fingers. “What if I seize control and make you sing for me?”

Ilax, catching his breath and his bottom lip in his teeth, rubbing urgently now, hips grinding against his inam, peos to peos, the rigid flesh making both men gasp. Ilax shook his head. “Oh, I will sing for you, inam. Every blessed day I have with you. Every day. Oh, my love, my lover... please don’t stop. Please... I love you.”

“I love you too. I love you. I am going to put my mouth on you perhaps, deovar. I love seeing your face unveiled, your body bare to my gaze.” He opened his mouth and, pulling Ilax’s arms apart he gently ran his top teeth over the muscle of his chest and licked, his tongue following warm along the sensitized skin.

“You’re a s...s...s..trong man, inam.” Ilax managed to say that much before he threw his head back and cried out as his lover pulled him up and suckled on and nibbled the nipple closest.

“Sing for me, Milar. Sing for me, deovar. I love you.”

Ilax’s voice broke high, wild as a hawk’s cry, echoing in the cave and the high mountain rocks, torn apart by the wind, unheard by anyone but his lover.